


Cambion

by secretlovesick



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Blood and Injury, Blow Jobs, Demon AU, First Time, Heavy Language, Homophobic Language, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Minor Character Death, One-sided Akechi Goro/Kitagawa Yusuke, Panic Attacks, Pheromones, Porn With Plot, Priest AU, Priest/Demon AU, Yusuke thirsting - Freeform, incubus!Akira, priest!goro
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:48:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29189574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretlovesick/pseuds/secretlovesick
Summary: “Since you’re pretty special, I’ll tell you what I am.” Akira smirked. “I’m what your kind refers to as an ‘incubus’, I believe.”Goro let out a breath he hadn’t realised he had been holding in his lungs. “I thought… I thought incubi only targeted women…?” He whispered, looking away. He didn’t want to look into a demon’s eyes.It smirked devilishly, looking like it had captured a prey in its trap. It made Goro nervous instantly. “Ah, but you’re not interested in women, are you?”
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 11
Kudos: 83





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was porn written as an inbetween to my future long fic that went too far
> 
> Content warning: The mildly dubious consent tag comes in play during the first (and second) encounters, as Akira is basically a sex demon preying on someone initially. This fic also uses a similar concept to sex pollen/pheromones at times, but never resulting in pure non-con. Akira is still a sex demon so it kind of comes with it. Please do not look over the tags! I’ll provide a CW of the chapters at the end, just incase. Stay safe!
> 
> Please note that while this AU is vaguely based on catholicism, I decided to not name drop any religion as to not shackle myself into said religion. Im not religious, im horny and i wrote a smutty priest au for horny reasons not for accuracy
> 
> Cover art is by me! You can follow me on instagram for more for more akeshu 💕
> 
> [my instagram](https://www.instagram.com/secretiovesick/)

———

xxx

———

  
“Goodbye, mister priest!” A young, excited female voice shouted. The sound was coming from a little girl’s mouth, running towards her mother happily. Everyone else from his class had already left except the girl, as her mother said she had a few errands to do before being able to pick her daughter up from church.

Seeing her daughter run at full speed, the older woman smiled and crouched to give her a hug, petting her hair. “Be careful when you’re running, Mizuki. I wouldn’t want you to fall and hurt yourself.” 

Mizuki was a regular student of his weekly Saturday class. While also being one of the younger Priests of the church, Goro occasionally served as a teacher to young and learning children. Teaching wasn’t something he particularly enjoyed on its own, but it served as a good way to pass time during evenings. It was easy to open up children’s essays and homeworks and spend a couple hours correcting, distracting his mind.

“Sorry mom…” 

Besides each other, Goro could see that they looked nearly identical. It was like the younger girl was a shrunken version of her mother. Round face highlighted with slightly flushed cheeks. Both of them had hair colour similar to his, but a little darker than his honey brown tone. The only glaring difference had to be their mismatched eye colours.

The way her locks were put in a messy bun reminded him a little too much of his mother. 

It left a small, bitter pang in Goro’s heart, and he could already feel his headache coming back. It had shown its ugly claws ever since he had woken up, but thankfully lowered when class had begun.

“What should you say to mister Priest, Mizuki?” The girl’s mother smiled, glancing up towards Goro. He smiled back in courtesy as he winced, hoping it didn’t look too forced. The pain was just bearable.

“Uhh…” Mizuki frowned, and her eyes widened comically, suddenly realising what her mother meant. Turning towards him, she smiled and waved. While Goro didn’t particularly like any of the kids he was teaching, he had to admit Mizuki was one of his better loved ones. She was probably the most invested in class, which always helped keep things going along. “Thank you for teaching me today, mister Priest!”

Goro waved back, keeping the smile on his face, “It’s no problem. Thank you for coming.” 

Watching the family of two leave, Goro sighed. He drew a hand to his face and rubbed at his eye with his palm. His headache was pounding again as he stood outside, the sunlight not helping his case.

It had been a while since he had a migraine episode, and he hadn’t missed it one bit.

Squinting his eyes to try to avoid getting more sunlight stabbing into his brain, Goro spinned on his feet, directing himself back inside of the church slowly. Thinking about it, he had been waiting with Mizuki for a while for her mother to come by. It was nearly 10am now. 

Goro still had a few things he had to do before… before _he_ visited. Kitagawa always ended up a big distraction in Goro’s Saturday tasks, so he always made sure to finish them before the afternoon came by. Usually Kitagawa arrived towards the late afternoon, so Goro knew he still had plenty of time to finish.

Speak of the devil, and he appears.

Footsteps stopped sharply behind him. “Hello, Akechi.”

Goro’s eyes widened as heard Kitagawa’s deep voice coming from behind. As he turned around, he vaguely thought about how his plans of finishing his tasks would be crushed. He definitely felt a bit shocked, and Goro was sure it was showing on his face. 

He didn’t think Kitagawa would arrive so early. Goro barely had any time to prepare himself mentally, as if he hadn’t been waiting, craving for this moment all week.

“Good morning, Kitagawa.” Goro paused, looking at the tall, lanky man in front of him. He was beautiful, as always. Always so well kept. “I don’t think I’ve ever said that to you, actually. You’re pretty early today.”

Kitagawa shifted on his feet, his hand clutching on his canvas. “Ah, yes. I was able to free up my morning this time around, as my class got cancelled.” He paused, as if pondering what to say next. “...My apologies, are you busy? Should I come back at a more appropriate time?” 

Goro glanced away, thinking. He should say yes, but… Goro could always finish his tasks later in the day instead. “No—“ He started, closing his eyes as sharp pain interrupted him. It was hammering itself inside his skull. Curse the sunlight. “—right… now is alright.“ He said, but it came out more as a hiss as his face turned into a grimace.

Kitagawa blinked, unfazed. “Are you alright, Akechi?”

Goro nodded, keeping his eyes shut. Kitagawa would understand if he told him. “Just the migraines coming back. Can we go inside?”

“Of course.” Kitagawa paused, and Goro felt a pair of eyes in him. “Do you require any assistance?”

Kitagawa was so thoughtful, as always. Goro smiled wearily as he squinted his eyes open again, trying to keep himself from wincing. “No, but thank you.” He walked back inside of the church alongside Kitagawa, who stayed a couple of centimetres behind him.

Relief flooded his senses as the dark hallways of the church greeted him again. It still felt too bright for his liking, but it was already much better over the ruthless sunlight from outside. He sighed contently as he shifted his gaze towards Kitagawa while they walked. “Are you here to paint again?” It was an obvious question with an obvious answer, as it was all Kitagawa did at the church. He knew the other man wasn’t even vaguely interested in God himself, but he also knew Kitagawa wouldn’t lose a chance to talk about art.

Instantly, the other man’s facial expression relaxed into a soft smile. It made Goro’s heart give a small stab of warmth in his chest, his stomach churning. Disgusting want filled thoughts were starting to fill his brain again. “Yes, I am indeed. The church is such a calming place. It’s perfect for concentration and inspiration.”

Goro nodded, swallowing thickly, looking away. “I understand. I feel the same way, too.“ Gesturing for Kitagawa to follow him, the other man trailed behind him. Goro could feel how tall Kitagawa was compared to him, and he tried to not think too hard about how that made him feel.

As they arrived near the altar, Kitagawa glanced up at him as he sat on a bench. He crossed his long legs, and Goro resisted the urge to look at them any further. “Do you paint, Akechi?” 

Kitagawa was simply so attractive. He was the most beautiful man Goro had ever seen in his entire life, as if he had been personally shaped by God’s hands. Even as Kitagawa did the most mundane of things, Goro always thought he looked absolutely beautiful doing them.

Goro shook his head, tugging slightly on his glove as a weak attempt at distraction from his thoughts. They were sinful, _wrong,_ and he needed to keep them in control. Kitagawa would hate to know he was thinking like this. “I do not.” 

“I see.” Kitagawa paused verbally as he got his painting supplies out of his bag. Continuing to tug lightly on his gloves, Goro watched the other man in interest, wondering what the subject of today would be. Usually it was elderly women who came by church during the late afternoon, but the building was pretty empty right now. 

Kitagawa looked up as he settled his canvas on his lap. “Would you be willing to be my model today? I would require a bit of posing, as a fair warning. ”

Goro’s eyes widened slightly. “I…” Kitagawa had never offered something like this before. He had been visiting the church for a few months now, dropping by every Saturday afternoon, yet had _never_ asked Goro to do any kind of pose for him. The thought was slightly exalting. The thought that Kitagawa would be looking at him for more than a few minutes at a time was… “I wouldn’t mind. Why the sudden change of subject, Kitagawa?”

Kitagawa laughed quietly as if he had said something funny, a brush in his right hand. “My teacher told me that I should paint something else that wasn't an elderly woman coming to church. I didn’t understand his reasoning initially, as each woman I’ve painted has always been vastly different from the last, but I did realise I was... lacking practice into drawing men.” His last few words had been spoken in a slightly bitter note. 

Goro hummed. “I’m sure it will turn out wonderful, Kitagawa.” He meant every second of it. 

Kitagawa nodded sharply in agreement, confident in his work. “Indeed it will. May I place you into position?” 

“Place me?” While Kitagawa had mentioned posing, he still wasn’t exactly sure what it entailed, while he did have a vague idea. 

Kitagawa nodded as he approached him. He was getting really close now, entering Goro’s personal bubble. “I would like a specific pose to work with. One that would make the male form shine, so to speak. It’s a shame that I can’t have you as a nude model, but I will work with what I’m given. I’m sure your natural form would be exquisite to sketch out. “

Goro felt a blush creep up his cheeks. Kitagawa wanted to see him naked? It was so much to take in at once, and Goro felt his brain fry out slightly. “...My natural form?” 

“Indeed. A model will always be the most pure in its natural form. Devoid of useless clothes hiding the beauty of the human body.” He sighed dramatically. “Every patch of skin to be exposed for the world to see. Every blemishes, every freckle one might possess, uncovered completely. The human body is like a galaxy of intricate patterns, and every one of us is differently unique.” He trailed off as Goro nodded absent mindedly.

He understood Kitagawa’s point in theoricals, but he couldn’t help the flush on his skin as his mind wandered into the desire of flesh. The mere thought of Kitagawa wanting to see all of his naked self, all of his imperfections was already a lot to handle emotionally.

The ache in his brain snapped him back to reality.

It was filthy. It felt disgusting to even think that Kitagawa, another man, _an artist,_ would be interested in seeing his body as anything other than a subject to draw. It was insulting to Kitagawa’s art, and he knew it. 

“Are you quite alright, Akechi? I noticed your face has flushed. I hope my talks about nudity haven’t intimidated you. I reassure you that I would never ask anything as such for you. I understand your position within the church.”

Goro’s heart panged in his chest. Kitagawa was so considerate to a disgusting man like himself. He didn’t know Goro arbored so many sinful thoughts about him. It was making him feel sick with himself. “I’m alright. I have to admit that it came a little unexpected, but I can understand your position as an artist. “

“Thank you. Hearing that from you warms my heart. May I touch you?” The question was so innocent, but Goro’s disgusting mind was taking it out of context. He tried to keep the scowl out of his face.

He wasn’t this desperate until Kitagawa started showing up months ago. He had always kept a good check of his desires, ending them as soon as they sparked into existence. Praying out the thoughts, asking for forgiveness for having them right after. 

Kitagawa simply pushed some buttons he didn’t know he had. Tall, lanky, and beautiful. A voice deep and rich, with mesmerizing blue eyes. He was striking, like a walking piece of art in a display to the world. Goro never thought he could be as physically infatuated with someone before.

Before he had turned to God, most of his life had been spent in anger. Angry at the world for his circumstances, angry at anything that came down his path. He hadn't even begun to think about sexuality or love, back then. He didn’t have time to.

Goro bit his bottom lip softly, looking to the side.

He wouldn’t say he was in love with Kitagawa. Being in love with another man would be even more sacrilegious than craving the desires of the flesh. God could forgive his sin of lust, as it was a natural reaction. He forgave soldiers who indulged within each other when they battled for Him, pardoning their sins of carnal desires.

But Goro knew He could not forgive the sin of loving a man.

He swallowed down a sigh that tried escaping his lips. Goro was sure he would regret this. He knew once Kitagawa put his hand on his body his self control would take a dip. He felt so starved for touch, so hungry for Kitagawa’s hand on him, anywhere on himself. It didn’t matter. He knew his touch would burn into his brain, and he wouldn’t be able to forget the sensation of it, like it was carved into his skin.

He had to resist the temptation.

He should refuse.

“...You may.” 

———

xxx

———

  
  


It was sinful. His thoughts were sinful.

It was disgusting, wrong. _Filthy._

With a sharp shift of his wrist, Goro exhaled a shaky breath. His back was against the wall as he sat pathetically on his bed with his legs spread. He could feel all of his limbs relax as he indulged in carnal pleasure. Having a hand on his cock felt so good after having neglected it for so damn long. The warmth of his palm against himself was mind numbing. It felt so good, it felt so amazing. Intoxicating.

It had been months— years, maybe, since he had last masturbated, before he had even joined the church. It hadn’t even been done out of pleasure. An inconvenience, morning woods he had needed to take care of quickly as a teenager living in fear. Nonetheless, it wasn’t something he was allowed to do anymore.

Priests have established teachings about masturbation they must follow. Masturbating was considered breaching his celibacy, consummating into the lust of the flesh. He _knew_ he was going against everything he was taught by doing this.

Goro could've, _should’ve,_ opted to pray instead, distract his mind from these sinful, disgusting thoughts. Should’ve avoided feeding into his arousal. Should’ve avoided lusting after a man who had done nothing to warrant it.

Yet, he hadn’t. He hadn’t even thought twice about it. Kitagawa’s hands gently, carefully touching his body. The warmth of his palm seeping through his clothes, burning the flesh beneath it. It had stunned him into place, like he had been zapped by electricity. Kitagawa’s fingers curling around his hands, his shoulder, his waist.

Goro panted as he buckled into his hand. He was disgusting, disgusting, terrible. It felt so good. He squeezed his fist as he exhaled out a shuddering breath. He wanted more. It wasn’t enough. He was so close.

Thinking about Kitagawa with his face frowning in concentration, eyebrows pinched together. Glancing at his face, his body, as he was sketching it, giving him those same passionate eyes as he gave his painting. It was exhilarating, the mere idea of having eyes looking at him with such passion, such want.

Kitawaga’s sharp, captivating blue eyes, his intense gaze as he looked up and down at his body… Goro knew Kitagawa hadn’t meant any of it in a sexual way. He knew, he understood it was passion for his artwork, not for _him._

Not for his pathetic, sexually deviant self.

As he tugged on his cock more aggressively, Goro could feel the arousal churn in his guts, his stomach bubbling with anticipation. His mind felt so fuzzy, so cloudy, absorbed in his thoughts. He felt closer and closer, felt like he could finally get some kind of release after so long.

Looking down, Goro imagined it was Kitagawa’s hand around his cock. He watched his own hand twist sinfully around his cock, and tried to picture Kitagawa’s instead. He thought about the warmth he felt from it today. His thin, long fingers grasping his disgusting erection, jerking him off to completion. Goro hiccuped softly, a deep shudder overcoming his body at the thought. 

Did Kitagawa ever do this to himself? Would he do it the same way to Goro as he did to himself right now? It would be different, surely. His hands were much bigger than his own. His own cock fit snugly in his own hand, and he thought about how small it’d look in Kitagawa’s hand. Goro shivered. No, Kitagawa didn’t seem like the type to indulge in these kinds of filthy things.

But, then again, neither was he.

Goro closed his eyes, not wanting to look at his shame anymore. This felt so wrong, yet so right. His thoughts were _repulsive_ , but he couldn’t stop thinking about them. The thought of Kitagawa’s hands anywhere on his body should’ve made him nauseous, not make his stomach filled with butterflies of need. 

He was starting to feel like a criminal. What if someone learned about this? Him, Goro, a man of the church, doing these kinds of things to himself. What if someone walked in on him doing this to himself? 

Even thinking that, Goro knew they couldn’t. He had made sure to lock the door before doing anything, and had checked to see if everyone who didn’t live there had already left the church before going into his quarters. Only him and a few older men lived within the church’s grounds.

Exhaling a breath he didn’t know he had been holding, Goro brought his unoccupied hand to his mouth. He bit sharply into the skin of his finger, frowning as he pulled on his cock faster. The pain didn’t help anything much in terms of his completion, but it did help ground him a little bit.

What if... What if Kitagawa knew about it?

The thought alone should have made him stop, reconsider everything that led up to this point. All it did was bring out more questions to his mind.

What if he learned about Goro’s lustful thoughts? Would he hate him, or would he reciprocate them? 

Did Kitagawa... also think about those things with him?

Goro frowned. He slowly stopped stroking his cock, breathing heavily. He reopened his eyes, glancing down at his pathetic dick still in his hand. His thoughts were crossing the line, a line that he shouldn't even have been close to to begin with. Repulsion started to creep up his spine, and he bit his lips.

He was disgusting. A pathetic, repugnant cockroach taking advantage of his friend’s body for his own selfish thoughts.

Fantasizing about another man like this, without his consent. How did he even _consider_ Kitagawa could think about him this way? How could he even sink to imagining that Kitagawa would be attracted to a man to begin with? 

Only _freaks_ like him were into those kinds of things. Kitagawa wasn’t a freak. He was beautiful, kind and maybe a little on the eccentric side, but not a freak.

Goro was terrible. He had no right to do this, preying on his unknowing friend. He was taking advantage of their close bond to think of these things. He’d need to act like nothing happened next time Kitagawa visited the church, like Goro hadn’t thought of him in such a repulsive way.

His mouth tasted sour, and bile was crawling its way up his throat. Disgusting. He was disgusting. Goro wanted to cut his cock off, get rid of it completely. It was going soft by now, and he wished it could stay that way forever.

Gripping on his member, he squeezed tightly. He wanted it to hurt. He needed it to hurt. Goro knew logically he couldn’t get rid of his dick, so maybe if he made himself crush it enough until all he could feel was pain he wouldn’t want to try thinking about those things again.

Tears were prickling the corner of his eyes, and he bit on his lips until he tasted iron. It hurt. It hurt, it hurt so much, yet he couldn’t stop. He needed to be punished, needed to make his body understand it was disgusting—

“What are you doing?” A finger trailed up his bicep, a deep voice right in his ear. Instantly, Goro froze up in fear, a cold feeling washing up his entire body. His grip relaxed as his body tensed, letting his limp dick flop down pathetically. He breathed in and out heavily, borderline hyperventilating, as his thoughts raced in his brain. 

Had he been found out? Had someone walked in? It couldn’t be, he had made sure to lock the door, made sure that nobody was around—

“Hey. Answer me.” The hand on his arm squeezed into his flesh, and Goro felt something that felt like pain distantly. “Dont ignore me.” The voice said, low and resonant.

Slowly, Goro turned his head towards whoever touched him. He swallowed heavily, his gaze making contact with striking silver eyes with a sheen of gold. They looked out of place, _unnatural._ It was almost like they were glowing in the dark. It seemed like it was another man who looked to be around his age. His skin looked sickly pale, almost iridescent under the small candle’s light—

The fingers digged deeper into his arms, and Goro felt sharp pain. He gasped and glanced down at their connected limbs. Instead of pale fingertips, there were dark and scaly _claws_ sinking into his flesh. Vaguely through his fear filled brain, Goro could feel his own blood dripping down his arm.

“I thought I told you to answer me?” Goro’s eyes snapped back to the person’s face. He was smirking, and looked incredibly cocky. Looking at him a bit more carefully, Goro noticed glistening horns poking out of the man’s unruled black hair. They were reflecting the light from his candle, a gold sheen similar to his pupils.

There was no way this could have been a human being. It was something that _looked_ like a human.

“...What…” Goro swallowed heavily, as it was difficult to get anything out of his too tight throat. “What are you?” He said softly, unable to get anything more than a whisper out of his mouth.

The entity smiled devilishly, slightly relaxing it’s grip from Goro’s arm. He noticed it’s arm was completely black up to it’s shoulder. He would assume it was a tattoo if it were not for the strange texture it had. “Hmm… Isn’t that kind of rude to ask someone? Also, you didn’t answer my question.” 

Goro blinked, his brain puzzled. The entity had asked a question? When? “I… I don’t remember the question.” He said dumbly. He didn’t know what kind of being he was up against, so being compliant might help save him from potential death.

It hummed, shifting slightly in place. Goro could see some gold accessory shining lightly around its neck. “I asked you what you were doing earlier.” 

What he was doing? Dread creeped up his spine as he felt disgust settle down in his stomach once again. Goro had already forgotten his… sinful episode, due to the circumstances he was in right now. It already felt so far away in his brain, like it had tried to lock it away right after it was done.

Disgusting. Filthy. 

“I…” Biting back down on his sore lip, he looked away. Supernatural being or not, he wasn’t about to lay his shame to someone else. Goro licked his lips before speaking again, glaring towards his bed. “...Isn’t that kind of rude to ask someone?”

The entity stayed silent for a brief second, and Goro wondered if this is how he was going to die. Showing attitude to some demon who decided to torment him. To his disbelief however, the being simply let out a laugh. “Feisty! I love it.” It removed its hand from his shoulder completely, which drew a loud pained hiss out of Goro. Blood was definitely gushing out of it now, coating his bedsheets. The being ignored it and extended its bloody hand towards Goro. “My name is Akira.”

Goro looked down dumbly at the clawed hand covered in his own blood. Was he supposed to… shake its hand? He swallowed. His thoughts were racing. His hands felt dirty. One was covered with shameful, filthy clear body fluid while the other was swollen from biting. They were sinful, disgusting useless limbs attached to him. He wanted to cover them with his gloves again, just so he didn’t have to see them again.

“Hmm. Not the social type? That’s fine with me.” It— _Akira_ drew back its hand. It ruffled through the back of its hair, and Goro was unable to do anything but simply gawk at it. His eyes trailed down, and he realised just how _underdressed_ the entity was. It wasn’t wearing a shirt, and its pants were low on itself. Goro could see a little bit of dark fuzzy hair poking out and going up into a happy trail. 

Seeing the entity’s pants made him realise just how naked he was in comparison. His dick was still dangling outside of his underwear, for the entire world to see. Fighting the creeping blush in his cheeks, he tucked it back inside of his garments. The action wasn’t unnoticed by Akira, who let out a chuckle in response.

“Unfortunate.” It hummed, bringing its blood covered hand to… lick the fluids off of it? Goro looked away quickly as his stomach dropped, not wanting to see someone consume his own blood. “You know, I’ve been observing you for the last few minutes. You looked like you were having a good time for a while. “ It has the audacity to moan around its digits as it was loudly slurping them.

Goro swallowed thickly as he glanced back warily. How long had it been watching? How did he not sense it’s presence? “...What?”

“What, what? Did you not hear me? I said I was watching you.” It said amusedly, giving one of its digits a long suck.

Goro immediately scowled at its snarky tone. Akira was already getting on his nerves, consistently acting like Goro was stupid. “I … heard you the first time.” He said carefully, placing his useless hands on his lap. “How did I not… see you?”

The entity gave him a look, like Goro was asking something dumb. It was getting incredibly infuriating. “I was invisible.” It smirked as it leaned in a bit closer to Goro, baring its neck. Goro could clearly see the golden choker now.

“Invisible,” Goro repeated slowly, trying to keep himself from feeling intimidated. His body was starting to relax for some reason, like a soft velvety blanket were around his shoulders. It felt strange to feel himself untense when there was still a _stranger_ in his bed.

Its stupid smirk still hadn’t left its stupid lips. “Invisible. It makes it easier to sneak in. It’s a convenient skill, I’d say.”

It didn’t make sense. None of this interaction made any sense. Nothing about this was right, and briefly he wondered if he started to feel calm from the adrenaline that had been coursing through his veins for the last few minutes. The concept itself felt antithetical, but he couldn’t justify it otherwise. “Right.”

Akira hummed again, and approached Goro’s face slowly, who scooted backwards in answer until he hit the wall. In this position, Goro felt like he was trapped. His body in between a wall of wood and flesh. Yet, he still couldn’t feel himself feel anything other than _calm._

It chuckled, bringing a pointy finger under Goro’s chin, lifting his face up. It was eyeing his neck, and he really should’ve felt a lot more fearful than he was feeling right now. He felt so warm. “So, are you really not going to tell me why it looked like you were trying to rip your dick off?”

Goro’s eyes widened, and he looked away, frowning. “No.” He paused, breathing in softly. His brain was starting to feel fuzzy, and he inhaled a scent reminding him of coffee. It was starting to feel intoxicating. “Are…” He started, closing his eyes. Words were so hard to articulate. His willpower felt like it was starting to drift away, like he was being tamed. “Are you... going to tell me what you are?”

Akira leaned down near his ear, and Goro felt a shiver up his spine as he felt the other’s hot breath against his nape. “I asked you first, you know. I’m not sure why you think I’m obliged to answer.” Goro couldn’t stop the soft noise coming from his throat. Its voice was so _rich_ and _low._

_Just like Kitagawa’s._

Goro’s eyes snapped open, like he was pulled out of a daze. It was doing something to him. It was making him submissive somehow, and Goro wasn’t going to have any of it. Using everything left of his willpower, he pushed the being away by a couple of centimeters. It was much more gentle than he’d hoped, his useless limbs not cooperating properly, but it would do the job. “What are you doing to me?”

Akira seemed surprised briefly, but its nonchalant attitude hadn’t gone away. “Hm? You’re able to fight through it? Interesting. I haven’t seen a human able to do that yet.” As quickly as Akira was pushed away, it leaned back inside of Goro’s personal bubble, hot air blowing against his ear once again. “Unless… Hmm…” It started, taking a whiff at the skin of his neck. Goro shivered instantly, something churning deep in his guts. “Since you’re pretty special, I’ll tell you what I am. I’m what your kind refers to as an ‘incubus’, I believe.”

Goro’s eyes widened, and he felt his previous fear come back to life. An incubus. A sex demon who raped women in the middle of the night as they slept, leaving them with an unwarranted pregnancy. A demon who feasted on sexual desire and intercourse. It was the counterpart of the succubus, who preyed on men. 

Goro let out a quivering breath he had been holding in his lungs. “I thought… I thought incubi only targeted women…?” He whispered, looking away. He didn’t want to look into a _demon’s_ eyes. 

It smirked devilishly, looking like it had captured a prey in its trap. It made Goro nervous instantly. “Ah, but you’re not interested in women, are you?”

A cold sweat broke on his back. It- The _incubus_ couldn’t be serious. This was a ruse, something to destabilize him. There was no way it could know about Goro’s preferences. He’d been hiding them so well until his mishap today. “What are you trying to imply.” He clenched his teeth. 

He knew exactly what it was trying to imply, but it didn’t mean Goro had to acknowledge it. It didn’t matter what was the truth, if the truth itself was _wrong._ He shouldn’t be attracted to anyone to begin with, much less do something as disgusting as being attracted to another man.

It nuzzled into his throat to Goro’s horror, yet he moved his head to bare his throat unwillingly, like some outside force was forcing him to do it. Considering the situation, there probably was. “You think you can hide it from me? I can sense your desires.” Goro could feel the warmth of the demon’s lips on his neck as it spoke. “I actually took this form for you. It seems that you have quite an affinity for tall, pretty men.” It had the audacity to sound amused at its comment, like it was something funny to say.

As he felt himself slip through a comfortable daze, Goro knew whatever magic the incubus had been doing earlier was back. It was controlling him again, making his body comply with whatever was given to it. “I… I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Didn’t I say I’ve been observing you?” It kissed his throat softly, and Goro tried his best to stifle out the moan that wanted to escape him. He shouldn’t be wanting this, he shouldn’t be enjoying this. This was indefinitely worse than his… his desires about Kitagawa. This was another person touching him, a man sworn to celibacy. “Do you think I didn’t realise you had been getting off to the pretty boy who visited you today?”

All he could focus on was the lips on his throat. They felt so, _so_ good. Warm. His face was against Akira’s shoulder, and it just smelled so good. He could feel his will power slipping, unable to resist the temptation of flesh once again. The words felt far away, and the voice was just so _deep._ It felt like sickeningly sweet honey in his ears, and so comforting. “I…” Words felt so, so difficult. His brain felt like mush, and he felt so safe. 

“Cat’s got your tongue?” The demon softly sucked into his neck, and Goro felt a brief shiver go through him. It barely felt like anything, yet felt like so much. He could feel arousal bubbling up inside of him, coursing in his veins. The warm, wet tongue against his own flushed skin felt indescribable in the moment. Briefly, he thought about its tongue somewhere else on his body.

It felt so good, he didn’t want it to stop. So good, so safe in Akira’s arms. 

Goro distantly could feel Akira suckling more bruises into his neck. It felt soft, comforting, like this is where he was meant to be. He felt himself slipping, getting sleepier as Akira pushed him further against the wall. “You know, you haven’t told me your name yet.”

Goro blinked lazily, exhaustion buzzing in his limbs. His name? He guessed he did have a name. “Akechi… Goro Akechi.” He whispered distantly.

“Akechi…” It muttered against his flushed skin, as if testing out the name on his tongue. As it said his name, Akira detached itself, and Goro whined softly at the lack of contact. It already felt so cold, too cold without Akira. Why was Akira moving away? “Well Akechi, you’re probably the most interesting human I’ve encountered so far.”

Goro could barely pay attention to what Akira was saying. All he could think was how cold he felt, how much he wanted Akira’s warmth, how much he missed it already. Why was Akira getting further away? “Aki...ra…” He whispered brokenly, exhaustion deep in his bones. When had he gotten so sleepy?

The demon mused at him, a crooked smile on its lips. It liked hearing its name said by Goro. Maybe, maybe if he said it more it would make it stay? Before he was able to open his mouth, Akira placed a single digit on his lips as it leaned in closer again. Goro buzzed from the warmth it gave, relinquishing in it as he closed his eyes, breathing out softly. Akira, Akira, Akira. “As much as I would love to play with you more, I think I’ve seen enough for today. Consider it as me sparing you.”

What did it mean by that? Why did it say that? Everything was so confusing. Why weren’t Akira’s lips on him anymore? “What?”

Akira’s mouth twisted in a predator-like smile as he leaned in even closer. So close, Akira was _so close._ “What I’m saying is, I’m letting you go.” 

As he felt the soft pressure of lips on his own, Goro sensed himself slip away. He felt his body fall on the bed, going limp as darkness engulfed his consciousness. 

“I can’t wait to see you again, Akechi.”

———

xxx

———

The first thing Goro noticed as he woke up was an intense migraine, once again. Then, it was the sharp pain in his arm and neck. He instantly felt a gigantic wave of nausea, and did his best to resist the urge to throw up the acid from his stomach.

Putting a shaking hand to his mouth, Goro ran to the bathroom. His bicep _hurt,_ it stung so bad like it was burning, but it could wait until after he dealt with the relentless nausea overcoming his body. As soon as Goro got to his knees in front of the toilet, he heaved directly into it.

Disgusting tasting bile filled his mouth, and he could feel tears prickling the corner of his eyes as pain coursed through his entire body. His head was absolutely pounding, all of his senses assaulted at once.

Briefly, Goro considered his options. Had he gotten sick? Maybe one of the visitors had caught something and given it to him. Or, maybe, he had caught something from a trip at the market down the road? He had been just fine yesterday until last night...

Before he was able to make another coherent thought, another wave of nausea surged from his guts. More bile came up his throat, pumped out of his stomach by his own body. He spat out in the toilet.

What happened last night? He couldn’t remember. He knew _something_ had happened, that _something_ had transpired. Was that why he felt like this? What in the world could’ve caused something like this to happen?

And why was his arm hurting _so damn much._

Goro snarled as he turned to look at his arm, and his eyes widened fearfully. The flesh in his arm had been torn, as if a predator had clawed through it. It was swollen and flushed, obvious signs that an infection was taking place. There was a lot of flaky dried blood down his limb, like he had been bleeding out for some time.

What the _hell_ happened last night?

His head was pounding so damn much, and his elevated heartbeat probably didn’t help any of it. Closing his eyes, he leaned against his other (seemingly untouched) arm. Breathing in and out, he tried his best to lower down his heart rate in hopes of it making the nausea stop.

Goro bit on his bottom lip, only to hiss softly at the pain that flared within them as soon as he did. He had to get the facts straight, and had to remember what the hell happened.

He started from the middle of his day. 

He knew Kitagawa had come to church yesterday. He knew he had taken the time to start painting him. He remembered having spent at least an hour sitting down on the uncomfortable chair as the other man painted him. And… He knew he had felt… desire of the flesh, towards Kitagawa during the session.

Goro swallowed down the knot in his throat, trying to keep his breathing steady as he went through his memories of last night. He started to remember his disgusting, filthy desires towards Kitagawa.

He also remembered how he had indulged briefly in these desires. The dull ache in his penis reminded him of his little episode after his sinning, the punishment he had given himself for his mishap. 

After that… It was hazy. It felt like a film was put on top of Goro’s mind. He tried to force the memories to come back, grimacing as his headache felt like it was hurting even more.

Why did it hurt so much to remember? Had he passed out from the pain? It couldn’t be, he didn’t remember his arm bleeding or even hurting slightly as he had been touching himself.

Goro breathed out, grasping into the seat of the toilet to raise himself up. He felt shaky on his feet, but it was nothing he couldn’t handle. The nausea had thankfully lowered by now from his practiced breathing, but his mouth tasted sour. He was certain it was coated with bile on the inside.

Wobbling to the sink, he grabbed his toothbrush without looking at himself in the mirror. Goro knew he probably looked as horrible as he felt right now, and he didn’t think he was ready to see himself like that yet. He wanted to brush his teeth before anything else, to try to remove the disgusting taste in his mouth. He’d definitely need to clean his arm before he bandaged it.

Brushing his teeth a little more aggressively than he probably should, he spat out the toothpaste in the sink. It tasted absolutely vile mixed with the bile in his mouth, but he hoped after brushing his teeth a few times that the aroma of mint would replace the overwhelming taste of pure acid.

Spitting out the toothpaste once more, he filled a cup with water and gurgled it, rinsing his mouth. It felt good, fresh. The scent from the mint in his mouth was also helping cover the vague odor of vomit he smelled around himself. He knew he had to take a shower now.

Not that he hadn’t planned to, with how wrecked his sensitive arm felt.

Glancing up at the mirror, Goro gave a good look at the wound on his limb. It didn’t look like he had been mauled necessarily, but he was sure whatever did this to him wasn’t human. Maybe a cat had gotten into his room last night. He knew there were a few feral cats around the church’s grounds, taken care of by a young gentleman he never interacted with.

He didn’t want to think about how the claw marks looked too big to be from a cat.

Goro closed his eyes and breathed in deeply before reopening them to look at his face. As expected, he looked absolutely wrecked. His hair, normally kept, looked like a bird’s nest. He had bags forming under his eyes, and he was paler than usual in the face.

Maybe he was actually sick.

Grabbing his toothbrush again, Goro decided to go for a third time to remove the taste of bile once and for all. He inspected himself in the mirror carefully, trying to see if anything else on him looked amiss.

Nothing had looked out of the ordinary for him minus his overall sickly appearance, until he shifted his neck.

Goro’s eyes widened instantly, and he brought a hand to his neck, barely feeling the pain of torn muscles in his contracting bicep anymore. 

The skin of his neck was covered in what was unmistakably hickeys. Small dots bruised into his skin in no particular pattern in an array of different colours. Lovebites.

He remembered.

_‘I can’t wait to see you again, Akechi.’_

His toothbrush fell into the sink in a resonating clack, pushed down the drain by the flowing water as Goro felt colour leave his face completely. Almost instantly, he dropped to the floor on his knees. He gripped tightly on his hair, his palms digging into his eyes. 

No.

Nonononononononono—

A single word flashed in his mind.

Incubus.

He had been visited by an incubus last night.

Removing a hand from his hair, he covered his mouth with it. Goro could vaguely feel that it was trembling, but he felt so numb. The little bile he had left inside of him was creeping up his esophagus once more, burning.

He remembered. The demon— Akira? Its striking silver-gold eyes, unruly mop of black hair adorned with glistening horns. Its claws, the black, charred and scaly looking skin of its forearms. The gold accessories scattered all around its body.

Breathing out shakily, he tried to organize his thoughts and what he knew once again to attempt to ground himself. 

He knew that… incubi raped women as they slept. He knew that more than not, they left the women pregnant with their child. If it were to be born, the offspring was referred to as a cambion. A crooked, unwanted child born out of a mix of a demon and a human. They were usually left to rot by themselves, undesirable by the mother.

_Just like you._

Gripping tighter into his hair, he released the air that felt stuck in his lungs. How could he check that Akira hadn’t… hadn’t raped him? It’s not like he could get pregnant, there was nothing of use to take his body for. Unless stories of incubi turning into succubi at will were true. Akira had mentioned it had shaped forms to _accommodate_ Goro’s desires. Maybe it had taken his seed with plans to use it to impregnate a sleeping woman, another victim to the demon.

Goro felt sick again. 

He threw up bile all over his floor, heaving loudly. His head hurt so much, the strain of muscles tightening to throwing up letting itself known.

His mind was racing, and he felt disgust crawl his skin again. His hair was wet, drenched in sweat, sticking to his face. He remembered how compliant he had been with Akira, how he had been ready to let it do whatever it wanted to him. 

It wasn’t him. It hadn’t been him. It wasn't what he wanted, was it? No, it wasn’t who he wanted. Who he wanted was—

He squeezed his eyes shut, hyperventilating, shaking his head. He couldn’t, couldn’t think, not right now. 

It was the demon’s powers. Whatever magic it had cast upon him, controlling his body’s reactions. Goro knew he wouldn’t consent to _any_ of it in normal circumstances. It was impossible to even begin that thought, to even consider it. 

Having _sex_ with a _man_ , a demonic man out of all things.

Disgusting, disgusting, disgusting, _disgusting._

His skin crawled, and he started shaking violently. He was disgusting. A disgusting, worthless piece of man who lusted after a friend. 

He had to regain control of his mind. He needed a distraction, some way to cope with his feelings. He tried to think of what he’d been taught, of prayers he could recite. 

Maybe God would forgive him if he prayed for him to pardon his sins. It’s what his mother had always asked him to do. It was why he had turned to God in the first place.

He grasped the cross that was dangling around his neck and brought it near his face. “My God, I am sorry for… for my sins with all my heart. “ He started, quickly muttering a forgiveness prayer. It felt shallow, sinful to ask for forgiveness after what he had done last night. 

He squeezed his cross tighter. “Please…” He wasn’t sure who or what he was pleading for anymore. He just wanted the pain and guilt he was feeling to end. 

It hurt. His body hurt. His mouth tasted like vomit once again, and the smell of bile on the floor was overwhelming all of his senses. 

After what felt like hours of hyperventilating, Goro finally felt his consciousness drift away as his body slipped to the floor. He could vaguely hear a splash when he dropped to the floor, and the smell was even stronger than before now. His arm felt wet, and the acid stung at the wound. 

It hurt so much. Everything hurt so much. 

Disgusting.

His vision faded to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Internalized homophobia, more or less self harm (basically squeezing his dick until it hurts as a punishment). Use of pheromones, but nothing sexual happens. Akechi believes Akira sexually assaulted him and has a panic attack the following day.


	2. Chapter 2

“I’m finished.” With one last flick of his wrist on the canvas, Kitagawa carefully dropped his paintbrush on his palette. He was smiling, visibly content with the work he had done today. Goro felt a twinge of pain in his chest. “Once again, I must thankyou for your help today, Akechi.” Kitagawa breathed out as he turned his body towards him, smiling.

Goro nodded, relaxing his body. Distantly, he could feel a brief ache in his arm as his position had changed. The slight shift of muscles was enough to remind him about the claw marks in his bicep, bandaged tightly and lightly covered in salve in hopes of it healing faster.

He had been in the same sitting position for almost an hour now, being told and retold to keep still anytime he moved even slightly. His limbs were sore from the pose he had held, but it wasn’t anything he wasn’t already used to. “It’s no problem.” He breathed out, sounding a lot more tired than he had meant to let on. 

As he rose from the bench, Kitagawa’s expression turned into a worried scowl. The breathiness of his voice hadn’t gone unnoticed to him, “Have you been alright? I know you mentioned something about your migraines earlier. I don’t mean to offend you, but you look quite sickly, Akechi.” 

Goro hummed, absentmindedly tugging at the seams of his gloves, readjusting them slightly. He knew what Kitagawa was talking about. Every morning as he looked in the mirror, Goro saw himself worsen everyday. His skin was sickly pale, and the bags under his eyes were getting darker as time passed. It was harder and harder to try to cover them with makeup, something he was already barely allowed to do to begin with.

Not to mention the nonstop atrocious migraines he had been getting the last week, making it difficult for him to even be functional to begin with. Even so, he still tried to keep up his appearance as best as he could, brushing his hair and teeth twice daily. 

He looked like a walking corpse, and was starting to feel like one, too.

The migraines weren’t anything new, but the lack of sleep certainly did not help improve them. Around the time he had legally become an adult, Goro had started to get headaches on a daily basis. No amount of medicine had lowered them, so he had resorted to simply enduring them.

Was he alright? He didn’t even know himself. Goro had felt absolutely miserable the entire week. He had barely slept during his nights, scared that if he were to rest the demon might visit him again. He wanted to think his fear was irrational, but he simply… did not know.

He had heard about how a person’s health deteriorated after being... _used_ by a sexual demon. Stories about how victims of sexual assault by these creatures ended up slowly dying, morphing into a shell of the person they had been. Soulless, as if their life force itself had been drained out of them.

It was scary, not knowing what had actually happened on that night. He wished he hadn’t passed out, that he hadn’t slipped out of consciousness so he could have at least tried to fight against it. Was he slowly dying like the stories he’d heard? Goro didn’t know. His mind felt like a mess, and he was just so exhausted.

"I guess I might be sick." He muttered, rubbing at his wrist. He didn’t quite believe it, but he also didn’t want to tell Kitagawa about what had actually transpired. He bit into his lip softly, the soft pressure grounding him. It had stopped hurting a few days ago, replaced with a dull soreness in its stead.

Kitagawa nodded in agreement. "Please don't overwork yourself. I'm certain the regulars at church wouldn't want to see you collapse." Kitagawa paused, glancing back at his canvas. "Would you like to see the painting?"

Goro nodded, his hands twitching slightly. Kitagawa had once again asked to paint him, the second week in a row now. It should have felt exhilarating. The man of his desires spending hours with him, looking at him for long periods of time. To be touched again by Kitagawa...

Goro tried to keep himself from grimacing as he felt sharp, painful pressure in his head.

This time around, Kitagawa's hands on him hadn't felt as good. It had felt wrong and filthy, and all Goro had thought was how he was tainting Kitagawa with their connection even through the fabric. Kitagawa was pure. He hadn't known what happened to Goro the other night, hadn't known what kind of abhorrent thoughts Goro had about him.

It made his skin crawl. 

"I hope it suits your tastes. " Glancing up at the painting, he exhaled a breath he had been holding. Kitagawa painted things as he saw them, emotions raw and expressive. His portrait of Goro looked… depressing. Dull, pale and void of the warmth it had last time. Sickly beyond recognition, his body looking like a corpse in the making. Was this truly how Kitagawa saw him right now?

“It’s—“ Goro paused, swallowing down a knot, “—different.” It was the word he had decided to land on.

“I hope it doesn’t appall you. I know it isn’t as lively as the last one, so to speak.” He broke off, smiling gently. “Personally, I think the human body in a state of fighting illness is quite beautiful. The feisty, unwavering will to fight to save itself from succumbing to the enemy. “

Cold sweat dripped down his back at his words, the rest of his sentence feeling far away in his mind.

Feisty. The incubus had kept calling him that for some reason. Feisty, special, like he was unique.

It made him feel sick.

The memories were forcing their way back into his mind, crawling all over his brain like cockroaches. The soft kisses against his neck, the warmth from the connection they had shared. The low, buzzing arousal in his guts as another man- a _demon_ touched his body in such sinful ways. He didn’t remember having been touched _down there_ by the demon, but he could remember how he had been craving for it.

He remembered the way he had succumbed to carnal desires of the flesh that night, unable to keep himself from wanting for more. How he had touched himself that night, thinking about his friend in such a disgusting way. 

He knew his celibacy had to have been considered breached by then. There was no way it couldn’t be. He hadn't told anyone about the incident, and frankly hoped nobody would ever find out. The only one who could know about his secret was himself, and God. His God, who he crawled to for forgiveness everyday for his mother.

It was a secret he would take it to his grave if he had to. If he had to go to hell for that, so be it.

"Akechi?"

Goro's eyes snapped back towards Kitagawa. He had gotten closer, within his personal space now. He could see Kitagawa's hand was reaching for him now. Goro hadn't been ready for it. He wasn't ready to be touched again. He didn't want to be touched again.

"Please don't touch me." He whispered coldly, bringing his arms around himself protectively as he felt a wave of pain from his head. Kitagawa couldn't touch him again. He couldn't be tainted by touching Goro's filthy, disgusting self again. He wanted to wash his skin until it was raw.

Kitagawa blinked at him, unaffected. He retracted his hand, putting it back at his side. "Understood. My apologies for overstepping my boundaries." Kitagawa took a step back, distancing himself from Goro.

Goro winced. “It's alright. I'm simply— " Goro sighed, bringing a hand to his hair. Even through the fabric of his glove, he could tell it felt clammy from the sweat dripping down, and he rubbed into his scalp. "— tired, I guess. The migraines have been keeping me up at night. " It was half a lie, but the other man didn’t need to know.

Kitagawa nodded. "I know how difficult headaches are to deal with. If my work is too much to handle, please do not feel afraid to inform me. I'll understand." Kitagawa sounded so earnest as he said it. It was endearing.

Kitagawa was always so nice and considerate to him. While he lived in his own world more than not, he was incredibly bright and perspective. It was something Goro liked about him.

However, he didn’t like having someone else worry about him like this. “It isn’t too much, don’t worry about it. My migraines are out of your control, Kitagawa.” Goro watched as Kitagawa walked off to carefully place the painting in the usual drying spot, taking the painting from last week off the easel. Since he was a regular, Goro had lent a small spot within the church for Kitagawa to dry his paintings, so as not to smear them during travel. 

As they stood beside each other, the difference in between both paintings was stark. The warmth of the first one, compared to the coldness of the second one. It looked like day and night.

Walking back with the dried painting in his arms, Kitagawa carefully wrapped it with soft tissue before placing it in a large bag. “I must say, I heavily thank you for letting me use the area. I would hate to think about what the paint would do during travelling.” He gently lifted the bag up to his back, dropping it behind himself as if it were a school bag. “Although, I have to admit I’m quite curious as to what the results would be. ”

Goro chuckled as he rose up from his seat. “I would hate to see your work go to waste.” The pain in his bicep flared up in response, and he stifled his hiss softly. His headaches had made him forget about his damned arm.

Kitagawa simply gave him a look in response, before reaching his hand out for Goro to take. “Please remember to take care of yourself, Akechi.” 

Grasping the other’s hand in his own, he felt prickles of disgust in his stomach as he shook hands with the other man. “Thank you, Kitagawa.”

———

xxx

———

Tick. Tack. Tick. Tack.

Sighing loudly, Goro slammed his notebook shut, dropping his pen back in the ink container. He placed his elbows on the table and leaned into his hands, taking in a deep breath. 

His constant migraine still hadn’t left since this morning, camping in his brain. The sound of the clock in the background as it kept ticking, seconds accumulating slowly into minutes, felt oppressive. The ticking noise he was usually able to tune out as he worked felt like it was hammering itself into his skull.

Tick. Tack. Tick. Tack.

Rising from his chair, Goro strutted towards the clock mounted on his wall to remove the batteries from it. He could spare not knowing the time for a few hours if it meant helping him continue to do his work.

Raising his arms up to dismount the clock from the wall had flared up the pain in his arm again, but it was discomfort much more tolerable over the tick and tacks of the clock that had been mercilessly assaulting his brain for the last few minutes.

Sighing in relief as the clock _finally_ stopped, Goro shuffled back to his desk after he fixed the clock back to the wall. Picking his pen back up from the ink container, tapping the tip of it gently against the glass, Goro opened his notebook again. 

The notes were mostly reports on some of the children’s religious education. While there wasn’t any form of report card to have for his students, it was important for him to track their progress in what they had learned. 

Skimming through the different notes, his eyes landed on Mizuki’s name. Her mother had come to pick her daughter up earlier than usual, which had meant he was able to finish his tasks before Kitagawa arrived this week. They had taken almost an hour extra than usual, as his pounding headache and arm gave him trouble concentrating.

His arm had gotten much better ever since he had used the salve, but it was still very raw to the touch. It had gotten mildly infected a few days ago, to the point where the pain had made him stuck in bed for most of the day. His fellow priests had asked him where he had gotten the wound, and Goro had simply lied and said it had been a cat.

He knew with the look on their faces that they hadn’t believed him, but he just couldn’t tell anyone. It was impossible.

Sighing, he closed his eyes as he leaned on his gloved hand. Goro knew he was going nowhere at this rate, no matter how much he tried. 

Considering what had transpired during the last few days, it was understandable. Ever since Goro had remembered about the _demon,_ his already terrible migraines had gotten so much worse. His days were filled with various different kinds of pains, and it was hell to deal with on a daily basis. It was draining. He had felt so lethargic the entire week, like he hadn’t eaten in days.

Glancing back at his notebook, Goro sighed as he closed it once and for all, dropping his pen on the desk. Maybe if he let himself just think rationally about what happened it would help with how he felt.

The encounter had been simply terrifying at first. 

He had been scared. It had been extremely alarming, to learn someone had been watching him as he sinned thinking about another man. Realising that someone had seen him _punish_ himself in such a way was humiliating.

It was even more terrifying that the thought of a man- a _demon-_ watching him pleasure himself was extremely arousing.

It shouldn’t make him feel this way. It was disgusting, and he felt like he had been taken advantage of. 

Yet, the thought of Akira’s piercing eyes as they stared at him, its toned body, long limbs… Its tongue, licking and sucking into his neck. It had felt so good.

It wasn’t his fault he felt this way. Goro was still only a man, and he couldn’t say he wasn’t depraved. He knew it was wrong, that this line of thinking only led to more sins, but he couldn’t help it. His entire life had been spent in such _anger_ , so much anguish. He had never been able to experience kissing, let alone sexual pleasure. In his 25 years of living, nobody had touched him before in the way Akira had.

The churns of arousal down in his guts disgusted him. Goro closed his eyes, exhaling sharply from his nose as he trembled in place. It was disgusting. He was disgusting. Not only had he breached his pledge of celibacy _twice_ already, he was now considering doing it a third time.

Disgusting. Filthy.

His cock stirred to life in his pants, and he squeezed his legs tighter together. He shouldn’t feel this way, he wasn’t allowed to feel this way. He was certain the demon had _used_ him, defiled him without his consent. Using his limp body as it pleased, not caring about the mental anguish it seeded in Goro’s mind.

Maybe that’s what happened. Maybe it had put _something_ in his brain, forcing him to have these kinds of disgusting thoughts. There simply couldn’t be any other logical explanation as to why Goro would even begin to conceive these sinful thoughts.

Breathing softly, he slipped his hand down his garments, stifling a soft noise as he palmed his cock gently. It felt good. It felt so right, like this is what he had been missing all week. The weight of his own length was comfortable in his hand, and he rubbed gloved fingers against his tip. Precum was staining into the tissue, and he felt a small pleasured shudder coursing his body gently. Briefly, he thought about how he would need to discard them later.

Maybe he could get it over quickly, get rid of it as soon as it came. He didn’t want to think about anything, didn’t want to fantasize about anything like last time. If he were to sin again, he hoped to make it quick. 

He started to jack himself off faster, trying to keep his mind clear of unwanted thoughts. He didn’t want to think of Kitagawa. He had already tainted the friendship he had with the other man enough with his disgusting behaviour. He couldn’t let it happen again.

Worst of all, he didn’t want to think about Akira—

Rough, charred fingers slipped around his arm and Goro froze into place. A pair of eerily familiar lips fell on his neck, and the priest resisted a full body shudder. It laughed softly. The air that came out of its mouth was so, _so warm_ , and Goro squeezed his eyes shut. Even with his body frozen in fear, his cock had stayed as hard as it had been in his palm.

Dread was filling itself back in his brain.

It was back. It came back.

Had it been watching him again? How long had it been watching him for? Just now? In the last hour, the last day, the entire week? He didn’t know. He hated that he didn’t know. It made his skin crawl.

Had it known he had been thinking about it, just now? That Goro had been indulging his fantasies about it— about _him,_ a demon, but another man nonetheless. He hadn’t wanted to think of the demon as anything but a genderless entity. He had thought that maybe then he could avoid the suggestive thoughts that had creeped up his mind since the first time Akira had touched him.

“Go ahead, don’t let me stop you.” Akira mused in his neck as he sucked a new love mark into it.

To hell with his previous sinful desires. There was no way in _hell_ he would continue if he had an audience. Much less the audience of a sex demon.

“Akira.” He hissed through his teeth, his unused hand gripping tightly into a fist. The incubus hummed in response, dragging a clawed finger up and down his arm. It felt like feathers of a touch, yet it was too much. He shivered softly. Vaguely, he could feel soft, comfortable warmth coming back in his mind. A feeling of safety.

“Oh? You remembered me?” Akira licked a strip up his neck where he had made his marks last time. Goro closed his eyes as he exhaled, his hand trembling as he clenched and unclenched it. He hated just how _good_ it felt. How hypersensitive he was to the wet muscle on his burning skin. It made him sick with himself.

“I…” Goro began, grimacing. Words were getting difficult to use. He felt so warm, so safe. He knew it was happening again. The… The magic the incubus had used on him last time. His brain was getting mushy, his consciousness slowly turned into a pliable mess. 

“You know, “ Akira began, puffing a breath on the wet line on his skin. It made him shiver helplessly. “Usually, they don’t remember after I’m done with them.” 

Goro’s eyes snapped open, the fake illusion of safety shattering completely.

He knew what he— What _Akira_ was implying. 

He could go to hell.

Slamming his hands on the desk, Goro jumped out of his chair, turning around, forcefully detaching the demon off of himself, as he threw a glare towards Akira. Vaguely, Goro thought he might have knocked some things he shouldn’t have. Adrenaline was coursing through his veins and he simply couldn’t care about material at the moment.

“Why. are. you. back?” Goro hissed, his chest heaving, feeling slightly disoriented. “Haven’t you done enough already? Didn’t you…” He felt bile crawling it’s way up his throat. It was like ants were crawling up his skin. “Didn’t you already take what you needed?” He whispered harshly, his breathing feeling difficult. 

The demon raised his hands up as his lips twitched upwards, as if to show he was innocent. His eyes had widened slightly, notably surprised by Goro’s outburst. “I was kidding.” Cold sweat dripped down his back. He was kidding? How? As Akira leaned closer to him, Goro could see that he was slightly shorter than himself. So much for ‘making himself into a tall man’.

“What?” He croaked meekly.

The incubus pushed Goro backwards enough that the fat of his ass was dipping against his desk. He leaned in even _closer_ , enough that their noses were brushing, and brought hot lips against his own. The kiss was chaste, and Goro closed his eyes briefly, unable to hide the full body shiver it gave him. He moaned softly as he inhaled from his nose. Had Akira always smelled this good? “I didn’t do _anything_ to you.” He whispered onto Goro’s mouth, licking his lips like a contented cat. “I _lied._ ”

As the words had sunk in his brain, Goro blinked. Exhaling sharply, he pushed the other man backwards, establishing a little bit of distance in between the two of them again. Akira’s scent was too much, too _addictive_ to be near him. “ _What?”_ His voice sounded strained and pathetic, and he didn’t care. 

He... hadn’t? Had he just left Goro there, bleeding out on his bed, miserable after he had already seen all of his sin? It was extremely doubtful. Demons didn’t tend to show mercy, of all things. “Tell me why should I trust your word, demon?” Goro demanded.

Akira hummed quietly, still close enough for his chest to flush against his own. It reminded him of Kitagawa’s hands briefly, and he felt so...warm. “I told you.” Akira smirked wickedly, leaning in again to whisper in his ear. “You’re _special_.” He breathed out, sending a shiver up Goro’s spine. And then he licked the shell of Goro’s ear.

“ _What_ are you doing?” Goro hissed out, bringing his hand to cover his ear as he felt his face flush. It was disgusting, Akira was disgusting, yet he couldn’t help the warmth that was travelling throughout his body. The vague feeling of _safety_ was creeping up again, and Goro was getting sick of it.

Akira was able to see his face now, and he was staring at him deeply in the eyes. “This kind of expression suits you more.” Akira said smugly, silver-gold eyes twinkling in amusement. “I like it.” 

Whatever magic Akira kept using was coming back, Goro wasn’t going to let it control him as much this time around. He pushed Akira off of him for what felt like the hundredth time, and the man simply smiled in return, clearly entertained. It was extremely infuriating. 

He had only come back a few minutes ago yet the demon was sticking to him like a desperate leech, always clinging onto him.

“I still don’t believe you haven’t done anything.” Goro started as he watched Akira shrug, seemingly responding with an unspoken ‘take it as you will’. 

“If I had, you wouldn’t have this much vitality left inside of you.” He smirked, tilting his head sideways. The shift of his hair made his horns more visible as they glistened gold under the candle light. “And you wouldn’t remember anything, as I already mentioned.” Akira glanced down and stared at Goro’s lips with hooded eyes. It stirred something awake inside of Goro’s crotch once more. “But then again, you _are_ pretty special.” He practically purred out.

Here it was again. There were two words that kept coming back to describe him. Feisty and special. “You keep repeating that. Saying I’m special. How exactly am I special?” He swallowed, brows furrowing. “Explain.”

The incubus gave him a long look, a glint of amusement in his eyes. “Well.” He put his finger in the middle of Goro’s chest, near his heart. Goro watched as it dipped into the fabric of his shirt and felt a moment of distress, his life feeling like it was on the line. He hoped Akira couldn’t feel how fast his heart was beating. “There’s something off about you.” 

Off? 

Something was off about him? While he still didn’t trust the demon to tell the truth, Goro didn’t exactly doubt it. There had always been something off about him, about who he was. Never able to fit in, always the outcast. Thrown away without even a second thought as he was treated as a worthless child. “Off?” Goro muttered back at Akira questioningly. “Explain yourself.”

Akira leaned in and inhaled deep into his neck, locking his arms around Goro’s waist. Looking carefully, Goro could see he had shivered doing so. The embrace should have made him feel gross, not more… receptive. He silently begged for his cock to _stop reacting to anything Akira sent his way._

Akira’s lips had started to quiver slightly against his own flushed skin. It was strange, out of character as opposed to the usual touches filled with pure confidence. “You…” He began, a slur in his words, “Your... smell is off. Your energy is off.” He said softly against Goro’s neck, taking in deep breaths of his scent.

Goro blinked. 

His… smell? Could Akira smell him as strongly as Goro did? His personal hygiene was impeccable, so he wasn’t sure what the other man meant by it. Furthermore, his _energy_ was off? What the hell did that even mean? “Are you trying to insult me?” Akira chuckled deeply in response. He was so close, so close to Goro. He managed to both be too close for comfort yet somehow still not feeling close enough.

“What would I gain in doing that?” Akira mused, not leaving his spot on Goro’s neck. His useless, stupidly wanting body didn’t want Akira to leave it either. “Though, I have to admit, you’re a lot more fun when you’re this vocal…” He muttered, pressing a wet kiss into his neck. “You started to get boring when you started acting like a normal human last time.” The demon didn’t stop _smelling_ him, like he couldn’t take enough of his scent. 

It was starting to feel weird, much weirder than anything else. It was almost like their predator-prey positions had been reversed. 

Goro could feel a pit of anxiety forming at the bottom of his stomach. He didn’t like where this conversation was derailing. He didn’t like what Akira was implying, but he had to admit he was incredibly curious. Akira’s behavior and words piqued his interest, and it wasn’t everyday you were told you were… off, by a demon. “Are… Are you implying I’m not a normal human, Akira?” He said carefully, choosing to believe what the incubus was trying to tell him.

The incubus shuddered as he kissed into Goro’s neck again, tightening his rough arms around his waist. He should push him away again, put distance in between them, but the warmth just felt so good. The light touches of his lips felt so good. “Mmh...I guess I am. You aren’t a normal human, Akechi.” Akira enunciated every syllable of his name teasingly. “You don’t feel like one.”

Goro shook his head in disbelief. It was probably bluffing. “And how am I supposed to believe that? What… What proof do you have?” 

Akira’s eyes were half lidded, and he closed them as he took another deep breath. He looked like he was half listening by that point. “Mh… You don’t even realise it, do you?” His words were slurred, and it felt like he was leaning onto Goro a little too much to be comfortable now, completely slouched on him. Not that Goro thought any of this was extremely comfortable to begin with, but supporting the body weight of a grown man wasn’t exactly pleasant.

“Realise what?” He swallowed thickly.

Akira _finally_ detached himself from his neck and closed the gap in between their lips. The connection was barely anything once again, flesh against flesh, but for Goro’s depraved brain it felt mind blowing good. It was electrifying. The incubus breathed out softly as he broke the kiss, and Goro noticed just how flushed his cheeks had turned in the last couple of minutes he had been smelling him. “You… You’re using your pheromones. ”

Goro blinked dumbly, not expecting that answer. “My… My what?” 

Akira laughed, as if Goro was saying things that were meant to be funny. “I’m saying—” He slurred, closing the gap in between their lips again. The shock wasn’t as strong the third time around. So warm. “—that you’re forcing me to submit to you, Akechi.” Akira breathed out against his mouth, whispering, “ _And you don’t even realise it.”_

_What?_

Quickly pushing away Akira, Goro made sure to put a good couple centimeters of distance in between them. The vague haze that had engulfed his mind was lost once again and he grimaced as he fully returned to his senses. “What the hell are you talking about?” 

“I’m telling you that you’re the same as me. “ Akira mumbled, a toothy grin on his face, breathing heavily. While he still looked very… suggestive, it seemed like he had snapped out of his similar trance too.

Goro’s brain went blank.

The same as him? 

What did Akira mean by that? Did he mean their personalities, their interests, their desires? By all he knew, they were polar opposites in every sense of the words. A man dedicated to priesthood, and another a demon indulging in carnal sin. No, it had to be something else.

Did he mean the same as… as an incubus? As a _demon?_

“Well, not exactly the same. I’m what they’d refer to as pure blood unlike you, I don’t have any human in me.” Right as the words left his mouth, Akira’s eyes widened. “Ah, well, not at the moment.” He said, chuckling like he was telling a funny joke. It wasn’t funny. Not at all. 

Goro started feeling sick again. Even if… even if he were to admit he had gotten previously aroused by Akira’s actions, the demon was taking it too far. This had to be some sick joke Akira was pulling on him, to take advantage of him. Make him believe his _lies._ Demons of all sorts were notorious for being pranksters, devilish beings relinquishing in tormenting others. 

“Shut up.” Goro hissed, feeling the pounding ache he’d been having for the last few hours come back in his brain. He assumed that Akira’s magic— his _pheromones_ had managed to dissipate it out of his brain before, along with his rational thoughts. He really didn’t need it crawling back from hiding right now. He pushed Akira further away from himself, making sure they weren’t touching anymore. 

“Hmm… you’re so feisty.” 

“Stop.” Goro exhaled, “Stop calling me that.” The words were practically dragged out of his throat. It hurts. His head hurt so damn much. Why did it hurt so much?

Akira smiled crookedly, keeping his nonchalant attitude as he tilted his head. “What about snarky, then? Or bold, maybe. I don’t think any of those fit as well though.” He hummed amusedly.

“Don’t call me anything.” Goro hissed. He could feel like his vision unfocusing, and the pounding headache just didn’t _stop._ It was relentless.

“Okay, _Akechi.”_

It hurts.

Unable to take it in any longer, Goro stumbled down to his knees, grasping his head in pain. The sudden movement made his arm flare up in pain, and he bit his lip to muffle out a cry. He didn’t want to think about it. Goro didn’t want to acknowledge what Akira had said. Akira was lying, he didn’t actually know anything. He was wrong, there was no other explanation.

Was he wrong? 

“Akechi ?” Akira had the decency to sound worried, and he vaguely heard crinkles of clothes. Flicking his eyes back in front of himself instead of the floor, Goro could see the demon had crouched down to his height.

“Hurts.” He breathed out harshly, gripping into his hair as he closed his eyes. He hoped the controlled pain would help to distract him from the uncontrollable ache in his head. He felt rough hands slide against his own, and he curled into himself further. “Don’t… Don’t touch me.”

“Alright.” Removing his hands, Akira simply stared at him as Goro hyperventilated, hiccuping in between jagged breaths. He knew objectively that he was getting some kind of panic attack, the familiar feeling of his throat tightening slipping in. His body had been in high stress for the entirety of last week, and Goro knew it had to come eventually.

It didn’t mean it wasn’t _fucking annoying to deal with._

Goro tried to snap out of it, to take deep, calculated breaths as he usually did. It was an attempt to get some kind of calm in his body, something he deeply needed recently. He couldn’t focus enough.

He wasn’t denying what Akira had said anymore. Why wasn’t he denying it? Why wasn’t he screaming, yelling insults in retaliation to a demon trying to insinuate that Goro shared _species_ with him? It should be wrong, no? Akira had to be wrong. 

He didn’t know if he was wrong.

He shook his head. There was a part of him deep inside that had always known there was something off with him. Something wrong within the very own coding of his DNA. 

He wasn’t normal. He hadn’t ever been normal. 

His life hadn’t been normal from the very beginning. Always referred to as a cursed child by adults surrounding him, always told he was the sole reason his mother killed herself. 

As he spiralled, he remembered distantly how on some of her more difficult nights, she had begged him over and over to seek redemption within the church for the sins he had done. It was always on days she came back from work with flushed cheeks and new blooming bruises on her body. 

They were painful memories he hadn’t wanted to correlate with her, only wanting to remember the good moments he had with her. She had always been a good mother for him, the best one he could have ever wanted. He had always loved her so much, looked up to her so much. She had been his driving force in the last few years.

He still couldn’t forget how she had kept repeating him to ask God for forgiveness as she pet his head, sobbing into his hair. Muttering that it wasn’t his fault he had been created this way, and that he wasn’t the one to blame.

Whispering gently to him that if he were to commit himself to church like she had in the past, maybe then he’d be forgiven for existing. That, if he sold his soul to fully devote himself to the Lord, he would be pardoned. He had never known what exactly he had done wrong. 

His mother had killed herself before he had been able to get any answers.

His 8 year old self had walked in on her dead body a cool autumn night. A bloody, eerily cross like dagger clattered on the dirty stained floor. Her body, still fully clothed, half submerged in water dyed red. He remembered her dull, lifeless eyes. All their shine being lost, her vitality completely gone. He remembers the smell.

Goro could feel his meal coming back up in his throat. He didn’t want to remember these memories. He had buried them far away in his mind, and tried to move on. He knew he was hyperventilating, but he couldn’t stop. He couldn’t focus his vision on anything. It was all completely blurry. He closed his eyes.

The memories kept flowing in his brain as he felt his headache stab him through the head. He remembered how he had been shoved into the orphanage, switched inbetween families constantly. 

He had never been able to belong with anyone other than his mother. Abusive and neglectful families took him in, then discarded him once they felt like they had seen enough. Most of the time, it was like he had been nothing but a punching bag to them. They always took Goro’s hope and crushed it as they called him a cursed child.

Why was he a cursed child?

“—kechi.”

As Goro had grown into adulthood, he would remember his mother’s wishes at times. With the little he had known of her personal life before him, he knew she had been a nun in her lifetime. She had always been uncomfortable speaking about her past to him, but he knew she had dedicated her life to church before having him. She frequently reminded him that her soul was devoted to her God.

He had figured that maybe he could channel his anger into something else. Maybe his mother had been right, and Goro needed to devote himself to the church to hope for a better life.

He had never ever believed in God before. In the past, if Goro were to think about Him, it had always been cursing and blaming his problems onto Him. He had always thought that if a God were to exist, that they wouldn’t have forsaken him like this.

He had forced his views to change for the sake of his mother. Forced himself to believe, and forced himself to practice something he barely believed in to begin. Forced out the impure thoughts out of his mind, repressing them constantly. Forced his celibacy, and asked God to pardon his previous sins he had done with men. 

“Akechi.” It was Akira’s voice, reaching out to him. It felt so distant, like his own breathing was so loud it muffled the sounds around him. His body waved a bit, as if he was being shaken. “Hey. Snap out of it.” 

Shifting in place slightly, Goro could sense the soft and familiar feeling of his blanket under himself. He reopened his eyes, and immediately looked downwards. The pounding headache hadn’t left, and even the dim light of his candles felt like too much to deal with.

When had he moved to his bed? He was on the floor besides his desk moments ago, how had he landed in his bed?

“Akechi.” 

Plush, soft lips fell on his own. As he realised that Akira was kissing him, Goro couldn’t help but to moan softly into the kiss immediately. The gentle slide of their lips together was helping his thoughts dissipate to the back of his brain. It was a lot wetter than their past few kisses, a lot more sensual. 

It was his first time ever experiencing something as sensual as this. His first kiss hadn’t been with Akira, but it’s not like he had any noteworthy experiences about kissing. Before Akira, it had only happened once with one of the kids at the orphanage. 

Goro had been around 15, while the other kid was 17. They had been fooling around together that night. He had brought it up to Goro as a joke, who ended up taking more seriously than he probably should’ve. As they shared their first kiss together, one of the caregivers had walked in on them. 

After she berated them for being ‘disgusting faggots’, he never spoke to Goro again.

Goro breathed out softly against Akira’s mouth. The comfort of a kiss felt so good after his body went into full panic mode, even if he knew it shouldn’t. Even if he realised Akira might be right, he still distrusted the demon to some extent. Even if it were to speak the truth for some things, he still didn’t know if it spoke lies for others.

Glancing up, Goro felt mesmerized by Akira’s eyes. From up close, he could see just how beautiful they were. Sharp and piercing, like a predator. Akira’s eyes were glued to his lips, and Goro shivered helplessly.

Akira was so close. His skin was so warm. Leaning down, Goro deeply breathed in Akira’s scent, nuzzling into his neck. It was so comforting, so nice. The rich aroma of something akin to coffee was filling up his lungs, as if slowly intoxicating him. It was hypnotic. He felt like he was put into a warm blanket again.

He couldn’t hear himself hyperventilate anymore, which he assumed was a good thing. Vaguely, Goro could feel that Akira was petting his back comfortingly. 

It felt pretty ironic that a demon was trying to comfort him, out of all things. Akira should be taking advantage of him, or just leaving him like he had last time. 

It felt unfair that he was being nice, because it meant it was harder for Goro to resist him. It was much harder to say no to himself like this.

“Akira…” Goro rasped out, inhaling shallowly.

Akira’s lips tugged upwards, smiling slyly. “Welcome back.” 

Goro closed his eyes as he took another deep breath. Akira smelled so good. 

He knew this wasn’t something he could recover from if it went even further. After getting a taste of the sinful temptations of the flesh with another man, Goro didn’t know if he would be able to starve himself of it again.

A priest, a man of the _church_ breaking his sworn celibacy with a demon. It was ironic, completely ridiculous. 

“What…” He swallowed, looking to the side, feeling his heartbeat into his chest. “What happened exactly.”

“You collapsed and started having a panic attack.” Akira said casually, stating the obvious.

Goro closed his eyes as he grimaced. “I know. I mean, after that.”

“I carried you to your bed.” Akira muttered, continuing to pet his back. As Goro felt his mind clear up, he felt like he should try to ask for the demon to stop now. It was difficult to bring himself to do it. He hadn’t really been held like this since his mother. “I have to say Akechi, I didn’t think you’d react like that.” He smirked, a glint in his eyes. “I would’ve expected more denial than this.”

Goro closed his eyes again as he raised his arms up weakly to squeeze Akira closer to himself, breathing in and out softly. His body was so warm, and the heat was helping him calm down even more. Even through his shirt, the bodyheat of another being felt so good to his deprived brain.

Goro would’ve denied it if it didn’t make as much sense as it did.

The circumstances of his birth had always been strange, shielded away from his eyes. He didn’t know who his father was. His mother hadn’t wanted to say anything about him, and he had respected her wish.

He had heard the rumours about himself, saying he was the son of a demon. Caregivers mumbling to themselves when they thought he wasn’t listening about how his mother was a prostitute who had gotten _used_ by a demon. He just hadn’t expected it to be so…. literal.

It all made too much sense. It clicked into place too well. His head was starting to hurt again. He wanted a distraction.

“Akira…” Goro started meekly, distancing himself from the other man to look into his eyes again. They seemed earnest, waiting for him to continue.

Akira... didn’t seem like he wanted to bring any harm in Goro’s way. He had comforted him, held him until he felt well enough again. Were all demons like this, or was Akira special? The stories he heard of demons were never painted in a good light, so he assumed Akira was unique. 

Maybe it would be okay to indulge for a bit. 

“Kiss…” Goro began shakily, feeling dangerous. “Kiss me again.”

Akira raised an eyebrow, smirking. “Oh? Why the sudden change of character? Finally giving in to temptation, Akechi? I know I’m pretty irresistible. ” He said as he took one hand off Goro’s back, gesturing towards himself confidently.

Goro closed his eyes, bringing a hand to his face to cover his eyes as he groaned softly, his face feeling warm. “Shut up.” He wanted to distract himself, to indulge in things he shouldn’t, not banter with the demon. 

Akira smirked, bringing his hand up pet Goro’s hair. His nails felt surprisingly nice against his scalp. He had half expected for them to dig into his skin, and add another claw wound to his collection. “While I don’t mind indulging you, Akechi, do you mind telling me what happened just now?”

Goro shook his head against Akira’s fingers. “No.”

Akira hummed. “Just like last time, then.” He detached himself from Goro. He trailed downwards from his head to bring a clawed finger on Goro’s arm, who shivered at the light touches. The sensitive skin on his arm still sting when touched, but he beared it for now. “You still haven’t told me why you were trying to rip your own dick off last time, but I think I can guess the situation now.” 

Goro grimaced. He was starting to regret asking for the demon to kiss him. It had been an impulsive, wrong decision. “Stop talking.”

Akira grasped Goro’s hand, and moved it away from his face, forcing Goro to look at him directly in the eyes. He was still smirking. “As you wish.” Akira leaned in, closing the gap in between their mouths once more. It was a different kind of kiss once again. This type of kiss was wet, languid. Goro’s eyes widened as he felt Akira’s tongue slip in his mouth, but abruptly closed them as he moaned into the kiss.

It felt strange, but still very much enjoyable. His cock stirred awake in his pants, having been half hard since Akira had kissed him earlier. While not fully complete just yet, he could feel the beginning of his erection strain against his garments. He was so disgustingly easy, so pliable under another man. 

Goro vaguely thought about all the times he had been berated for liking men, about all the self repression he had gone through for so long. All his years he had forced himself to resist his urges, his desires, insulting himself, all of his actions unwinded as a demon simply kissed him a few times.

Goro could almost laugh.

As Akira broke their connection, he kissed the corner of Goro’s lips, breathing a bit harder than usual. It was interesting to see him look as bothered as he was feeling himself, and Goro felt his cock twitch. 

His erection hadn’t gone unnoticed by the other man. “You know, I could help you with that.” Akira muttered softly, tracing the bulge of Goro’s loose pants softly with a single claw. Goro shuddered violently, the unexpected touch on his clothed member making every nerve in his body feel tense. The fact a sharp claw was on his penis didn’t help his body relax very much, either.

Goro exhaled shakily. He shouldn’t. He really should not. The last rational remaining thought in Goro’s brain was begging him to stop this degeneration. It was hurling insults at him, telling him to kick Akira off of him and hide away.

“Do… Do as you wish.”

“I don’t think you want that, _Akechi._ ” He smirked devilishly as he trailed a claw down Goro’s chest sharply, tearing the fabric and Goro’s skin both at once. “But this will do for today.“

“What the- “ Goro frowned as he hissed, feeling prickles of pain where the claw had dug in. Small dots of blood were forming along the line on his now exposed torso, which were lapped up by Akira right away. The sting as the muscle licked along his wound shouldn’t have felt this good. “Why did you do that?” He growled, panting softly from the blooming pain.

“It was in the way.” Akira hummed as he removed himself from Goro, glancing down as if to inspect him. Goro immediately felt so much more _naked_ under his stare now, his shirt discarded. He flinched slightly as Akira reached for the cross around his neck, and he pushed his hand away from it. The demon simply gave him a look and smiled devilishly.

“You didn’t have to rip it. Also, don’t touch that. ” Goro grumbled, to which Akira shrugged in response, moving back down to kiss his chest wetly. Butterfly kisses shifting in between light suckles on the muscles of his torso, slowly marking the area around his nipples with lovebites. It was… strange. Different. He vaguely felt himself flush. It felt like Akira was treating him like a woman, and it was slightly humiliating.

It felt agreable, but not good. He liked the feeling of a warm mouth of his flushed skin, but he didn’t know what to take out of someone licking his chest as if he had breasts. There was nothing to do with his chest, was there? He didn’t understand.

Out of nowhere, Akira bit his nipple softly, and Goro couldn’t stop the little noise that came out from the bottom of his throat in surprise. Akira then started _sucking_ , and Goro had to bring a hand to his mouth to stop noises from coming out entirely. He felt Akira fondle the untouched side with his hand, and he grimaced, his teeth clenching. It still felt humiliating, but already so much _better_. Goro had no idea he had been able to feel those kinds of sensations to begin with.

“W-Wait— _Ah-_ Akira- “ He gasped through his gloved hand, breathing heavily. His brain was buzzing. He squeezed his thighs together, the warm heat pooling in his groin feeling overwhelming. How did this go from 0 to 100 so quickly? Whatever Akira was doing felt so good, too good. How had he never done this before? Why did they make him swear off to celibacy? 

Releasing his nipple with a small _pop_ , Akira leaned down on his chest, his breathing a little heavier than before. “You know… This kind of foreplay thing isn’t really something I do usually—” Akira whispered against his chest as he exhaled, breathless. The warm breath on his wet nipple made it perk up completely. “—but I’ll do it for you, since you’re special.” There was a filthy, disgusting little strand of saliva in between his nipple and the demon's mouth, connecting them. It made him more aroused than he thought it should.

Goro swallowed. “Stop…. Stop saying that. Actually, stop talking.” He closed his eyes, breathing heavily. His cock was straining in his underwear, and he could feel it starting to leak into the fabric itself. It felt filthy, and he really hoped Akira would stop trying to chat so they could _get on with it._

Akira pointedly ignored his last comment. “You are special. You’re one of the prettiest men I’ve ever laid my hands on.” The compliment was doing its desired effect, and he felt his cock twitch. Akira smirked, bringing a hand to tap his chin as if he were thinking. “Hmmm. You, and your painter friend. Kitagawa, was it? He’s also quite handsome, don’t you think?”

Goro’s eyes snapped open, frowning. “Leave Kitagawa alone.” He could feel dread creeping in his back. Had Akira also been watching Kitagawa in the same way as he had with Goro? 

“What are you accusing me of? You’re the one who wants to get in his pants, not me. I’m content where I am right now.” Before he could find any kind of brief relief in the words Akira had said, the demon moved to his other nipple, restarting the same ministrations as before. Goro’s abandoned nipple was completely covered in saliva, and he shivered as he felt how cold it was getting. It wasn’t completely unpleasant. He couldn’t help the little gasp he made as Akira rubbed his thumb directly against it.

“Don’t… Don’t even try.” Goro panted out, his brain feeling fuzzy. He could vaguely smell Akira from how close they were again, and he could feel himself relax once more from the scent alone. He could really get addicted to it.

“You wouldn’t have a say in that matter, but fortunately for you I’m not interested. You’re a much better catch for me to play with.” Goro shivered from Akira’s breath on his chest as he spoke. The surface of his skin felt like a raw bundle of nerves. His dick was so hard, and so needy in his pants.

Goro wanted to get off so badly. It was getting unbearable, and Akira was being _too slow._ “Akira.” Goro gritted out.

“Mmh?”

“Get… Get on with it.” Goro gasped out, feeling Akira bite softly into his sensitive nub. His cock was begging for friction, and if he didn't have any respect left to his name he might’ve just started to hump Akira. He moaned softly from need, biting his lips. “ _Akira.”_

“Are you always this commanding in bed?” Akira smiled and he sucked on his chest one last time before moving down to his stomach. As he did, he tilted his head, widening his eyes. “Oh wait, I forgot. My apologies. ” From the unapologetic look on his face, Goro _knew_ Akira was bluffing to work him up. Insufferable.

“You’re extremely annoying.” The butterfly kisses on his stomach felt ticklish, but not disagreeable. Akira’s mouth on his skin in general felt good, like something he much needed.

“Should I take my leave then?” Akira said, then had the audacity to stop whatever he was doing as he looked up to Goro.

Goro bit his lip. “Can’t—“ He breathed out, frowning, “—Can’t you read my desires, _demon_? That should be your answer.” He huffed.

“Back to being feisty, hm? I like it. ” Akira sucked another hickey into the skin of his stomach, releasing the skin in a small ‘pop’. Goro felt like he would end up looking like he had contracted chickenpox if Akira continued this way, and he grimaced. 

“You’ve already established that. How many times are you going to… mark me?”

Akira smirked. “As many times as I feel like it, Akechi. Your skin is so pale and reactive, it’s quite addicting.” As if to spite him, he sucked yet another hickey into his skin on his hip bone. Akira was slowly inching down his body, getting closer and closer to his crotch. It was beginning to feel nerve wracking.

As Akira touched the hem of his pants, Goro shifted. “Just… Just let me take them off myself.” Goro muttered, awkwardly bringing his hands down to slide his underwear and pants both at once. Akira had already destroyed one of his shirts, and he didn’t want to have to buy new pants after this too.

He felt a pang of shame as his cock sprung out of his underwear, and he swallowed heavily. He didn’t think he had ever felt this aroused before in his life, and he couldn’t say he hated how it felt. It was making him feel nervous, but almost in a good way. He didn’t know what would happen next and the suspense was addictive.

Glancing towards Akira’s face, Goro felt sweat drip down his back. Akira looked just so _hungry_. It was almost like his mouth was watering at the sight of a cock in his face, and it was sinking in just how much of a predator the demon looked as right now. He felt a mixed twinge of fear and excitement in his stomach.

Swallowing, Akira’s lips tugged up as he made eye contact with Goro, eyes crinkling. “Not bad.” It sounded so much lower than Akira’s normal voice, like it was an octave lower. Goro shivered.

“...Thank you?”

“No problem... You really are gorgeous.” Akira nuzzled into his bare thigh, smelling the skin. His nose felt ticklish, and Goro flinched gently. Akira brought his arms to his thighs, holding him solidly into place. “There’s no escaping now, Akechi.” His smirk was full on predatory.

“I… I wasn’t planning to.” 

“Good.” Akira’s hand was suddenly on his cock, and Goro let out a strangled moan. “Let’s take care of this, shall we?” He could feel Akira’s thumb rubbing against his slit, and Goro started panting heavily.

Another man’s hand on his cock felt good, so good. It felt so much more different from his own, even with the touch so gentle. Akira was barely squeezing into his cock, but the unexpectedness of someone else's hand on such a delicate part of himself was completely mind numbing. Akira could do anything to him right now, and all he would be able to do would be to take it.

Goro didn’t like how much the idea aroused him, and he brought a hand to his mouth to try and stifle his moans. “A-Akira…”

“You’re really easy, this isn’t even the main course.” Akira mused, chuckling. He looked like he was trying to be smug, but Goro could see how flushed his cheeks were. He briefly wondered if he got flustered with any other person like this.

Akira started to jerk him off softly, and Goro let out more strangled moans through his fingers. The friction felt so good, so nice on his cock after it had begged him for it for so damn long. He could already feel the orgasm build up into the pit of his stomach, getting closer and closer to release at last.

“I wanted to take my time but—” Akira bit into the meat of his thigh softly, causing yet another mark to appear. “—you’re so desperate, mister priest. I wouldn’t want you to come just from my hand. It wouldn’t be any fun.” He said as he had the audacity to _remove his damn hand._

“A- _Akira.”_ Goro practically squeaked out, unwinded. He had been so close, so damn close to coming and Akira had just robbed him of it. “Why did you—“

Akira’s mouth suddenly engulfed the head of his cock in warm, wet heat and Goro almost felt his vision whiten from the feeling alone. It was absolutely amazing. It felt so good after how long the other man had spent _teasing_ him. 

Akira was still only sucking on his tip, and Goro’s thighs trembled. He could distantly feel Akira’s claws digging into them, and felt vaguely horrified that the pain was just making everything feel so much better. There were warm droplets of blood flowing down his thighs, and he gasped.

He couldn’t help himself as his body shook, bucking his hips into the wetness of Akira’s throat. He knew he was probably hurting the other man this way, but his raw, feral need of _releasereleaserelease_ was overtaking everything else. His cock was hitting the back of Akira’s throat, and the pressure on his tip was _so much, so good._

After not having felt carnal pleasure for years, he finally felt the euphoria of release again. It was just so _intense._ Warm sperm shot out of his cock directly into Akira’s throat, and he could feel Akira choke as he removed himself from his cock, coughing. Goro could feel his throat clog up, tightening as some tears gathered around his eyes. 

This was one of the best things he had experienced, with Akira’s hand on his cock being second. Coming back from his high, he rubbed his eyes before glancing at Akira. 

He immediately regretted doing so. 

The other man still looked absolutely trashed. There was a mixture of spit and come, _Goro’s come,_ on his chin, and he had tear stains on his cheeks. Goro hadn’t even realised he had made Akira cry, and he frowned as he leaned over to wipe off the tears.

Unexpectedly, Akira barked out a laugh, and he wiped the come on his chin. “That was so quick!” Goro stared at him confusedly as the demon brought his finger to his mouth, licking the fluids off of it. Goro bit his lips as he brought his hand back to his chest. The sight of Akira lapping his hand clean was simply too arousing. He had just come, yet his cock was stirring in want once again. “I knew you were depraved, but I didn’t think it was that bad. You also went pretty hard on me, you know?” His voice sounded raw, like his vocal chords had been abused. It wasn’t far off from the truth.

“I…” Goro breathed out shakily, closing his eyes. It felt humiliating to be laughed at in such a way. “Must I remind you that I’m… That I’m not meant to be doing this?” He said, pointedly ignoring his last comment.

Akira’s eyes sparkled mischievously, “I know you aren’t. It’s why it’s so fun to play with you.” He leaned in to give Goro’s thigh another long suck, adding another circular bruise to the collection Goro was gathering. It made him shiver.

Goro groaned, covering his face with his hand. “Do you ever shut up?”

“You could always make me?” Akira questioned back, amused. Goro’s brain felt so fuzzy from his orgasm, and he simply groaned again as he breathed out, unwinded.

He could already feel exhaustion seeping in his limbs. Coming for the first time in literal years, by having his cock sucked by another man… It felt filthy, it _was_ filthy, but Goro couldn’t bring himself to think it was a bad thing. 

The situation had completely shifted, from 0 to 100, and he knows he should end it now. 

“While I did enjoy how responsive you were to my mouth—“ Goro glanced down at the demon still creating more love bites on his abused, bleeding thigh. Akira’s lip tugged up, eyes hooded. “—I’d like to play a little bit more, differently this time. Care for round two?”

Maybe Goro could just wait to end it until later.

“Do as you wish.” He whispered.

“We already established you don’t want that, _Akechi.”_ Akira said as he smirked, dragging his hand back onto Goro’s sensitive cock. 

“Your- Your claws. “ Goro swallowed, eyes narrowing. He had been too desperate for release the first time to truly care, but now that his mind was clearer, he _really_ did not like the idea of having long sharp claws on his dick. 

“Worried? I can just remove them.” Goro watched in astonishment as Akira’s long claws just shrinked into black blunt nails. The action reminded Goro how he truly was dealing with a supernatural being right now.

Goro swallowed. “That’s... unsettling. What are you, a cat?” 

“Something like that.” Akira smiled crookedly, bringing his fingers up to his mouth, licking them one by one. The sight really shouldn’t have felt so arousing, after seeing it so many times. His cock twitched as he remembered Akira’s mouth on it. “It makes it easier to prepare myself.”

“Prepare yourself?” Goro asked curiously.

“To get fucked, Akechi. “ Akira laughed breathily as he brought his hand to squeeze the head of Goro’s cock, beginning to jerk him off slowly. The slow pace was feeling like so much. He always went hard and fast if he had to come, thinking about getting rid of it as soon as he could, but the deliberate, steady pace felt so much different, more sensual.

Akira’s fingers on his cock earlier had felt like so much, but the chaste touches were nothing in comparison to this. He vaguely appreciated the additional wetness the demon had provided from his saliva. He felt his hand going up and down in smooth, long strokes with little resistance.

Akira had been right. While it still felt like it was difficult to control his body from orgasming, it was a lot easier to handle not coming instantly. There was still a warm, wet hand tightened into a fist that made his brain feel like he was fucking something. There was something primal inside of his brain begging him to start thrusting, to fuck into the tight heat until he felt release. 

Bucking his hips, Goro brought a hand to his mouth, biting down on a finger. He could tell he was getting more vocal as he grew more desperate, thrusting into Akira’s hand. His cock still felt so sensitive, and it felt like he was being thoroughly overstimulated. 

“Hmm, it seems like the cat’s got your tongue?”

“Sh-Shut up… “ Goro breathed out as he gritted his teeth, feeling heat build up in his groin. He was so close, so close, getting closer. He could vaguely smell Akira from where he was, and he shuddered violently.

As Goro hit his second orgasm again, he cried out louder than he had meant to. While it wasn’t as intense as his first orgasm, numbed out automatically by being second, it was still so much to handle at once. He kept thrusting his hips as it dragged on, panting as he felt droplets of come splurt onto his chest. 

“A-Akira…” Goro closed his eyes, panting. He already felt exhaustion fill his limbs, making them feel like they weighed twice their usual weight.

“Good?” 

“Yes.” He swallowed thickly, his throat feeling parched. His voice felt rough, scratchy, and his tongue heavy in his mouth. Goro really wished he could have a drink of water right now.

He reopened his eyes, glancing down at Akira. It was hard to see anything, his vision unfocused, but he could still see the sparkles of gold scattered on Akira, reflecting the light from the candle. 

Goro suddenly flinched, feeling the sting of Akira’s tongue on his stomach as it lapped up his wound from earlier. Looking downwards properly, he realised both the wounds on his stomach and thighs hadn’t really stopped bleeding since earlier, his heart rate probably not helping them in any shape or form. He winced, thinking about how he’d wake up with bloody sheets to wash out again.

“Are you… Are you going to tell me you’re a vampire, next?” He breathed out. It felt filthy to look at Akira cleaning his skin of any blood or come. That his fluids were inside of another man now, the one who had caused them to be let out of him to begin with. 

Akira smirked as he licked more droplets of blood on his skin. “Don’t tell me you think vampires exist, Akechi.” He mused.

Goro gave him a dumbfounded look, frowning. “Are you serious?”

“When am I not?” He cocked an eyebrow, sucking down a small bruise on his stomach. 

Goro rolled his eyes as he breathed out, relaxing. His eyes were starting to feel heavier and heavier. He vaguely thought the pheromones Akira had talked about were the thing making him sleepy, just like it had made him pass out last time.

Akira’s tongue was starting to feel like a distant sensation. It had been such a strange day. He felt like he went from one side of the spectrum to the other within 24h, but it didn’t feel wrong either. He knew it had been a long time coming, that this realisation of how much he had been lying to himself, to people around him, about his beliefs had to come out eventually. He just didn’t think it would’ve been because of Akira.

A sex demon he had met twice, one that until today he thought had raped him. Goro couldn’t say he doubted Akira’s words now. During the week, he had multiple thoughts and theories about what exactly happened. Scenarios he thought of that all had made him feel disgusted. Disgusted with Akira, and disgusted with himself for getting aroused as he thought about some of them.

He groaned, bringing a heavy hand to his face as he bit down on his lips. It was too much to think about. The life he had been barely holding together for years, crumbled after a one night hook up he should’ve stopped before it escalated to this point. It was a stupid, dumb mistake he couldn’t say he had any regret of right now.

He wondered what God would think of him. He probably knew by now that Goro had never truly believed in him. His religion was so conflicting, filled with so much anguish. He couldn’t say the life at church was worse than the orphanage he had been forced into, but he couldn’t say he had felt good about it, either.

3 years spent convincing himself, berating himself for anything that he had been told to be a sin, undone by a demon within one night.

Goro felt soft lips on his own, and he immediately tried kissing back, dazedly. He could taste a vague aroma of salty bitterness. He could feel Akira’s deep chuckle against his lips. His sore, sensitive lips, bruised from biting. “Thank you for the meal, Akechi.” 

He didn’t know if he’d ever see Akira again.

His consciousness slipped as everything turned dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter CW: Panic attacks, remembering trauma (includes homophobia, homophobic language and suicide mentions). Akira gives Akechi a blowjob. No noncon in this chapter.


End file.
